Manny Pacquiao – Please Hire Me

Following Manny’s not so surprising victory over Jorge Solis, I plead with him to rearrange his team and hire me.

I have read many articles on the legal problems that have surrounded featherweight sensation Manny “Pacman” Pacquiao and I have a solution for all of them. Manny, you must fire your manager, lawyer, Franklin “Jing” Gacal and get rid of all the people you have surrounded yourself with. The next thing you must do is hire me to be your lawyer and manager because I will probably do a better job then both of them combined. I have given a list of reasons why you, Manny, “The Pride of the Philippines ”, should hire me:

I would have never let you sign two promotional contracts at the same time.

According to your trainer, Freddie Roach, in fall 2006 you signed a promotional contract with Oscar De la Hoya’s Golden Boy Promotions and were promised $5 million per fight and a $500,000 signing bonus in straight cash homie!(Randy Moss reference) A month later you then sign another promotional contract with Bob Arum’s Top Rank, your promoter from your previous fights. According to my legal expertise, you can’t do that. Your current legal team probably did not take the class that I took at Cal Poly Pomona on contract law. Apparently, you can’t have two promoters for each fight. What the hell was Franklin Gacal doing while you signed both of these contracts? Unlike the stupidity of your current legal team, I would have sign only one contract.

I would have had you sign with Golden Boy Promotions.

You decided to stay with Top Rank, but Golden Boy Promotions has the best featherweight fighters under their promotion. It makes no sense! Earlier this year you had some problems negotiating a rematch with Mexican superstar, Marco Antonio Barrera, which would have been a huge and lucrative fight for you. Instead, Juan Manuel Marquez cashes in and you have a fight with unknown fighter, Jorge Solis. If you were with Golden Boy the negotiations would have been easy because Barrera is promoted by Golden Boy. The only thing that Top Rank could offer you is double Golden Boy’s bonus at $1 million dollars. The only fighters that Arum’s Top Rank can offer you are Jorge Solis and Humberto Soto, who are both unknown and unworthy fighters. Listen to me Manny, great fights make great fighters. You have the potential to be one of the best featherweight champions of all time. In order to reach that level, you must fight the best fighters at your weight class. You should be fighting champions like Barrera, Marquez, Joan Guzman, and Edwin Valero; not the scrubs that Bob Arum sends your way. Come on Manny! You’re better than that! If you hired me, I would do everything in my power to make you the great fighter that you are.

I would have never let you get involved in the political scene of the Philippines.

You have decided to run for congress representing South Cotabato . Dear God! Where do I begin with this one? Stay away from politics especially in the Philippines . Let’s say I have heard stories of the corruption that exist and it is much worse then a left hook from Marquez. Manny, you are not qualified or ready for this. You are uneducated and all your greatest achievements come from knocking guys out. I understand that your “pare” told you that you should run for politics, but all he cares about is taking advantage of you. Stick to what you’re good at. It’s like Jessica Alba deciding to go to school to become an accountant. We all have our talents and yours is knocking out Erik Morales. We need to keep your distractions to a minimum and minimize the politicians who will take advantage of your fame. Not only that, your opponent, incumbent Darlene Antonino-Custodio is an educated and talented politician. She is the youngest women lawmaker in the Philippines congress and her family, the Antonino clan, is political royalty. Good choice for an opponent, Manny! You team pick the best politicians for you to run against, but mediocre boxers to face in the ring. Another point for me!


I feel that those reasons are more then enough for me to get hired. Manny, call me or shoot me over an email. By the way, great San Miguel commercial with Freddie Roach and Erik Morales.